My title makes me want to go to the movies.

I have a hard time sometimes deciding whether or not this is an “all business, news and information blog” or if I can actually just goof around sometimes. So, in true form, I’ll just do both!

Neither of the previous “blogagraphs” (paragraphs are different on blogs) have anything to do with the content of this post. Nor do they really apply to one-another.

No, I haven’t been drinking. Unless you count Maxwell House, in which case I’m stone-cold guilty. Throw away the key.

Coming Soon in the proper format: Q & A

Q: Helloooo… what happened to the whole series on wood paneling?

A: Huh? Oh, right, that. The truck broke (wait, I’m a blogger today, not a contractor), er the hard drive… (just tell the truth) Um, well, the truth is:

The next part of the series is about beadboard. I have a bunch of beadboard to do in my house! Very soon! And I want to show you step-by-step how simple and fun it can be to install. So I’m busting my tail trying to get other priorities done so I can do that.

Q: Speaking of your house? What’s the deal? Do you actually remodel your own stuff, or do you just talk about it? Not to be rude, of course.

A: Of course, no problem. This is just between you and I right? I actually don’t know how to do anything. Naaawwww, just kidding. Of course I remodel my own stuff and I, in fact, have been clinically diagnosed with FORD (functional obsessive remodeling disorder), but I guess that’s just tough. Ford…tough. Ha.

My lack of remodeling for the last many months has been all related to the housing market, an unsold house I still own, an appraisal that was hundreds of thousands of dollars higher than the market now, and the uncertainty that went (goes) with all of that.

But I just cain’t take it no more! (Neither can my wife!) We have to do some stuff to our house in Punta Gorda. Due to the aforementioned crud, we’ll be doing it on one heck of a compressed budget. Free would be great! So I’ll be able to show you how to do that!

And of course, I’ll make it look absolutely, totally, 1000% incredible!

Over the next few weeks (RG Time), I’ll be doing the following:

• Creating two kids bedrooms out of one already small bedroom. Complete with built-ins, custom storage, and secret compartments.
• Finishing a custom bed and built-in custom closets in the master suite including paneling the walls and the ceiling.
• Finally finishing the exterior painting and some exterior details to go with it.
• New doors on the kitchen cabinets, which I will build myself and show you how.
• Of course, I’ll have to paint the kitchen cabinets. And I might do something with the counter.
• Updating the outdoor shower, which will be, to use the technical term: macked-out.
• Um, other stuff too, like light fixtures and doorknobs, and custom things.
• Until I run out of my $20.00 budget. (remodeling budgets sometimes stretch)

Q: Whew… that was a long answer. Didn’t think you were going to shut-up there. I’m almost afraid to ask another one.

A: Come on, ask me anything.

Q: Well, okay. You claim that you can take a tiny, almost non-existant, budget and make it look, let me check my notes, here it is: “1000% incredible” What makes you think you can do that?

A: I’ll tell you! I can do that because the way a remodeling job looks at the end is not, contrary to popular belief, all about how much money is invested. Money might even be a hindrance in some circumstances because it provides an “easy way out”. When you’re faced with a situation like mine, where the remodeling really almost HAS to happen, and the budget simply is not there and doesn’t appear to be around the next bend, then you’re forced to think! You have to try really hard to come-up with solutions that work, that look great, and don’t cost a fortune.

That creative process often results in even better results. Let’s look at my house again for example. My original plan was not to make two kid’s rooms out of one. It was to rip the kid’s room out altogether and make that part of the main living room. The boys were heading upstairs, but I don’t have no upstairs…so I was gonna build one. Two bedrooms, a loft, and a bathroom.

Since that’s not in the cards right now, I’m forced to innovate and improvise. But when I look at it I see that the result will be that we, as a family, made it work without spending a bundle. And you’ll see it with me, I bet it’s going to be amazing.

1000% incredible is about design, functionality, and great use of resources. It’s about taking the hand you’re dealt and playing it right. It’s about being creative, innovative, resourceful, imaginative, and determined.

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And that is what this blog is about, so I hope you stay with me!